Nursing is defined as "an interpersonal process whereby the professional nurse practitioner assists an individual, family or community to prevent or cope with experience or illness and suffering, and if necessary, to find meaning in these experiences."

 

Three years back, I worked for the Hospital of the Infant Jesus as a staff nurse. The hospital caters both adults and pediatric patients but we have been known for specializing in pediatrics. For the years that I spent in HIJ, I was exposed to different cases and one of the patients that I handled was a 7 year old leukemia (ALL) patient; daughter of a VIP of some big company- for the sake of discussion I will be naming my patient Jane. Jane is not your average sick kid, who goes for wild tantrums during insertions- don’t get me wrong, she also had her moments; but for the most part, Jane is the kind of kid you could talk to about life, passion and the other things that typical 7 year olds don’t have any idea about. She is matured- or should I say, her illness made her mature pre-maturely.

 

A year and a half of battling cancer and finishing the treatment guideline, she had a relapse. She was re-admitted under our care and arrangement for transfer to a bigger hospital (for BM transplantation) was on its way. My shift was about to end when I had a talk with Jane. Below is our conversation:

 

Me: Jane, lets go, I will take your VS first and then we’ll play.

Jane: I don’t think we can play because you have lots of papers to prepare for my transfer.

Me: Its okay. My TL is preparing the paper and we can play for some time before I get back to work.

(I noticed her toy “hotdog” is bigger than the toy frying pan)

Me: Bakit ganyan yung hotdog, malaki pa sa kawali. How are we going to cook the hotdogs?

Jane: Wag mo na ngang laiitin. This was Santa’s Christmas gift to me last year- baka last na gift na nga nya sakin ito eh.

Me: (Stunned) Bakit mo naman nasabi yan?

Jane: Who knows, I might not make it this time.

Me: (Trying to recover and searching for words) Natatakot ka ba sa paglipat mo and sa operasyon mo? Diba ate mo ang donor mo?

Jane: Yes, and sabi ng doctor compatible kami.

Me: Saan ka natatakot?

Jane: Natatakot ako kasi nararamdaman ko natatakot ang ate at ang mama.

Me: (At this point I really didn’t know what to reply to Jane) Alam mo Jane, pag lipat mo sa *** (hospital). Malaki hospital nila. Maraming nurses and mga high tech na gamit. The doctors are well trained parang nasa HIJ ka lang din. Pero this time, ibang treatment method na gagawin sayo. Its best that you always pray to God na pagalingin ka niya kasi I can see that you really want to beat cancer.

Jane: Okay.

 

Jane was transferred to **** Hospital that night. 2 weeks after, I learned from our consultant that she is in ICU recovering after BM transplant. A week later, our consultant made her rounds. She gave us the news that Jane had a graft rejection and did not make it.

What happened to Jane was common to all our patients; cancer or not. They are all suffering and are all trying to find hope and meaning in whatever they are going through. Jane was afraid not for herself but because she felt the hopelessness from people who she looks up to for support. Jane was able to acknowledge her fears as real and existing- she was able to acknowledge the fear emitted by her mother and sister. As positive as she was, I now see that Jane was trying to find meaning on her experience during our last conversation. As young as she was, she was able to communicate whatever she was going through. As Travelbee has presented, the goal of nursing is to cope with the experiences or illness and help them find meaning in these experiences. I was young then. I didn’t know Travelbee’s theory. I didn’t know what Jane wanted from me. All I can give her was to make her feel that I am there- that I may not be the hope she was trying to look for, but I am there as a support system to help her cope up with her journey.